Continuing on from part 1 -
Summary: When Rapunzel tries to defeat the Saporians by herself she gets captured; but once Varian realizes that the Separatists plan on using one of his potions' destructive properties to destroy Corona, he and Rapunzel work together to stop it.
Let’s Talk About What a Let Down the Sapiorans Are
Throughout seasons one and two the Sapiorans were built up to be this intriguing race of people with a complex past and real problems that are sadly relatable to this day. They had a history, goal, motives, and special abilities like magic.
Yet all we got was a really bad hipster parody.
Heck, the crew can’t even keep it’s stereotypes right because they mostly slide into hippy territory instead. Hipsters, Yuppies, and Hippies are three distinctive counter culture movements for three different generations with completely different social concerns and fads.
Basically Chris tried to “stick it to the kids” again and just wound up insulting his parents' generation instead because he’s that oblivious of other human beings.
And that’s not even taking into account that previously the Sapiorans were living on the run as nomads in caravans not dissimilar to common Romani stereotypes, so the show is once again making negative racial connotations due to thoughtlessness.
Why Do You Have a Secret Underground Room Hidden Behind Your Workshop Xavier?
Like that not a thing normal people happen to have lying around there workspace. We still are given zero explanation for why Xavier has all this plot convenient knowledge and rare unordinary plot useful stuff.
Given his previous connection to Saporia and Zhan Tiri wouldn’t it not have made more sense to reveal that he is an actual plot important character in season three rather than keep him as just the exposition fairy?
So Was This Before or After the Saporian Take Over? Cause Either Answer Makes This a Dumb Plan.
Why would the guards, especially Cap, just give up? Did they even bother fighting and then lost to Varian’s weapons or were they told to stand down by a brainwashed Frederic? If they knew something was wrong then why not stay and help? What makes them think they even could find Rapunzel given how no one knew where she was heading and her letters were infrequent? What difference would they think finding Rapunzel would do?
Basically, just like with the “former cellmate” line, we needed to actually set up and establish this conflict rather than relying solely on exposition dumps. Because what we get here doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. It goes against established character and leaves a lot of unanswered plot holes.
More Promotion of Authoritarianism From the Show
Remember that these are the same people who formed a lynch mob to hunt down a fourteen year old all because the king told them to. The same king who had been lying to them for years and placed their lives and homes in danger for months. The same king who persecuted the poor and orphans for years. Him suddenly sending townsfolk to the mines isn’t anything new, so what are these people’s breaking points? Anyone else would have revolted by now.
But noooo, they need Rapunzel to do it for them. Cause Rapunzel is royalty and they can’t do anything without royal permission because they’re sheep. Sheep that’s been subjugated for years and conditioned to be afraid of their “beloved ruler”.
I understand from a meta point of view why you would want your main character to take charge but...
Like this isn’t inspiring.
It’s disturbing.
Why are we promoting blind loyalty to a person who’s not earned it just because they were born special? In a freakin’ kids show no less!
Oh and still no one bothers to call out King Frederic’s abuses here, FYI.
Take Note That Quirineon is Activated By Heat
This will be important later on in the review.
He’s Already Built Grenades For You. Wouldn’t Those Be Better Because They’re Easier to Control?
He’s already built explosive chemicals for you. You just used them in part one of the episode. And it came in an easy to use form rather than an unstable, and untested, mess that could literally blow up in your faces since no one, not even Varian himself, knows how to control it yet.
You Don’t Hammer Out a Cast Iron Pan
It’s literally in the word. To make a cast iron pan you pour the metal into a casted mold. You don't hammer it out like you would with a sword or something. And you can’t even go with the “rule of cool” here cause Rapunzel surrounded by molten metal and fire would have been far more impressive looking.
Yes I’m being picky cause I’m stalling. I don’t care. This is just yet another instance of the crew not paying attention to details like they should.
Behold The Final Time Eugene Will Ever Call Out Rapunzel’s BS
This is the last time Eugene will hold an honest discussion with Rapunzel like an equal to her. By the end of this episode he will have transitioned into full on doormat mode.
Also burying negative feelings and not addressing issues is who Rapunzel is. She’s been pulling this shit since day one. It’s what causes 90% of the conflicts in the show. Have you not noticed Eugene?
So This Episode Has Contradictory “Lessons”
The episode presents this idea that Rapunzel needs to open up to others and trust again after Cassandra’s betrayal. The problem is that the episode doesn’t follow through on that. It makes a knee-jerk decision to go with a “responsibility” lesson that wasn’t built up to instead at the last minute.
Varian Doesn’t Actually Interact With the Saporians at Any Point.
The only person Varian interacts with is Andrew. We have no concept of how he fits in with the rest of the group and what his dynamics are with them. What do they think of Varian? What does Varian think of them? The consequence to this is to further divorce Varian from narrative, even though this is supposed to be his redemption episode.
As I said in the last part, you can easily write Varian out of this episode and nothing really changes plot wise. That’s bad writing.
Also I was robbed of Khary Payton and Jeremy Jordan exchanging lines. I was this close to having audio material for my BH6 crossover, dang it!
Behold The One Time the Black Lady Gets a Line!
I think her name is Juniper?
You can tell it’s her because of the shadow on the wall.
Anyways they casted this part and only bothered to give the character a single line? What a waste!
But this just goes back to the series' poor representation. The only WOC in the show are presented as “shifty” and untrustworthy, even when they are ultimately “good guys”. The majority of them are straight up villains tho, and even as antagonists they’re not afforded any real screen time.
And the only other outright black women on the show is the inventor lady who was given zero respect and the ghost of a barbarian.
Once again, I don’t think the crew are intentionally racist. I think they’re just sloppy. They wanted to be more inclusive but they failed to actually give voice to minorities behind the scenes and so failed in representing them well. This is a problem with the industry as a whole, not just this one show, and must be talked about as such if we wish to change things for the better.
None of this “Stuff” Holds Any Real Meaning
We get several callbacks to season one through Cassandra’s personal things that she left behind, but none of this stuff holds any real personal meaning. It’s just there. They wind up triggering these big emotional reactions from both Rapunzel and Cassandra but the audience is just left confused because what they’re crying over are things that have little significance to these characters. Even this line from season one is just dripping with sarcasm and not some pleasant past memory that either Cass or Raps holds dear to their hearts.
Way To Go, Dumbass
It’s not that she went alone, or that she broke down when it finally hit her that Cass left, that I’m making fun off. The episode already addresses those two points.
No, what ticks me off is that Rapunzel has taken down killer robots, ghosts, and monsters before now with her magical hair but a handful of regular dudes can just bring her down? I don’t care how much alchemy they got. Depowering your main character for no stated reason just for narrative convenience is poor writing.
Because If He Didn’t He Would Have DIED, Rapunzel!!!
He literally would have freakin died had he not done something! He was left inside a jail cell to rot away! Before that he was threatened with hangman’s noose! Before that violence from an angry crowd! Before that he was left alone to starve and/or die from exposure! There was no way out for him except to fight!
And here you are inside the very prison that you kept him in and you still don't have the fucking self awareness to put two and two together!
This Right Here the Assassination of Rapunzel’s Character and the Killing Blow to the Series
Yeah, and what about after the storm? Hun, bitch!?
We’ve spent two damn seasons watching Rapunzel stepping on people and making excuses for herself and the one time when she should realize her actions are wrong and finally own up to her behavior and she still does not fucking change.
This is supposed to be a coming of age story! That means the main character is supposed to grow and learn shit! But when it matters most, Rapunzel only digs in her heels and refuses to change!
Why should I care about this character anymore if she’s just going to keep on being selfish no matter what? Why should I bother watching the show if it fails to deliver on its premise? How is this in any way shape or form an appropriate message for children!?
If you’re watching the series for the first time, then it’ll take awhile to register just how awful this scene is and how it really is the beginning of the end, because they did have time to turn things around after this. But they didn’t, and here we are.
This Isn’t a Real Apology
It’s not a real apology if all you do is make excuses for yourself. Rapunzel doesn’t address what she actually did wrong here and it has nothing to do with her stupid promise.
She neglected and enabled the abuse of a child for a year and three months, and she’s not even sorry for it!
You Were Never a “Friend” Rapunzel
Friends, actually do shit together. They enjoy each other’s company. They care when the other is hurt or in trouble.
Rapunzel only came to see Varian when she needed him for something. Even now, after this confrontation, that’s all she’ll ever do. She does not actually care about Varian, because the creators will not let her care.
And Here Comes the Death of Varian’s Characterization
In order to make this stupid, forced, “redemption” work the writers had to do a complete 180 with Varian’s character and his motivations. Instead of freeing his father, seeking revenge, or just, you know, surviving, he now suddenly cares about “being friends” and “being accepted by people”, only he has no reason to want any of that!
Rapunzel is a shit friend. Heck all the mains are crap friends to him. They ruined his life and the townspeople tried to kill him. Why would he want anything to do with any of these a-holes!?
Varian doesn’t get assassinated in the same sense as Rapunzel and Cassandra do. He doesn’t suddenly become a hateable dumb douchebag or anything, but he nevertheless has his character retroactively sabotaged by the writing.
Uh, Were You Not There When Your Dad Rounded Up a Lynch Mob Against Him, Raps?
I believe you were. Also Varian literally told you to your face that he had to go into hiding cause the townspeople were willing to attack him just because those rumors that you failed to stop and pretended not to know anything about.
Just because the characters shout something repeatedly does not make it true. The audience isn’t dumb. They can remember what happened only two seasons ago.
Where Was the Inciting Incident For This Change of Heart?
Why should he even want their forgiveness? Why has he given up on freeing his father? Why is he having second doubts about overthrowing the kingdom that persecuted him?
If you’re going to drastically change a character’s motivations, goals, and moral alignment then you need to present an in story reason for that change. We don’t get that. There’s no inciting incident on screen for us to see the shift in his character development.
The audience is left to only infer, and that’s poor writing. The audience shouldn’t have to do the work of the writers for them. Characters’ motivations and goals should not be guess work.
The only thing we can glean from this is that he had a change of heart while in prison and that’s a horrifying thing for the show to suggest. That’s basically justifying Frederic’s abuse. It also recontextualizes Varian’s arc into one of submission to his abusers and not one of learning to do the right thing simply because it’s right.
Once Again, Were You Not There For Season One Rapunzel?
They had a year and three damn months of chances. These people actively tried to do him harm just for simply seeking help. He has no reason to trust them nor you.
Why Are We Shoulding All of the Blame Onto the Abused Child?
Yes, he did do all of those things, technically, but they’re being presented here without context.
- The Queen enabled his abuser who was threatening his life and destroyed his home. He kidnapped her as a last restore when all other methods to get out of his desperate situation failed.
- The princess he threatened neglected him for three months and repeatedly refused to help him, even throwing him out into a deadly snow storm. Despite him being her responsibility, thereby making her neglect a flat out abuse of power.
- He would have died a slow and painful death in prison had he not helped to overthrow the kingdom that persecuted him.
I’m not going to pretend that what Varian did was right or that he shouldn’t feel sorry for what he did, but this is a highly skewed version of events that are being recounted here just to create bias in the viewers. It’s manipulative writing intended to gaslight the audience.
Also, why does he even want a second chance!?
Doesn’t This Undermine The Saporian’s Goals?
The Saporians wanted to reclaim their ancestral homeland so that they would no longer be a displaced people. How does blowing up that homeland help them?
Season three just throws all logic out the window. There’s barely a single villain who doesn’t undermine their own goals at some point with their stupid actions.
So Why Varian and Andrew Not Some Other Team Up?
Out of all of the various recurring baddies in the show Varian and Andrew have the least in common. I’m not saying that they couldn’t work together, but doing so required more set up than this. Because as is, this is a very contrived teamup.
They have diametrically opposed goals and moral alignments. Varian doesn’t bring anything to the table that the Saporaions couldn’t have supplied themselves. Meanwhile the Saporians have failed to offer Varian anything that he could want.
At best it’s a marriage of convenience for them to both break out of prison together, but even that is contrived because we don't know why neither of them were sent away on the prison barge with the rest of the season one villians.
Better combinations would have been
- Varian & Lady Caine
- Andrew & Lady Caine
- Varian & Cass
- Andrew & Cass
- Varian & Zhan Tiri
- Andrew & Zhan Tiri
- Varian & Hector
- The Baron & Varian
- Andrew & Staylan
- King Trevor & Varian
Like there were tons of options here that the writers just ignored, even though any of them would have made more sense than the one they went with.
The Andrew and Varian Dynamic Can Be Seen as an Allegory for Grooming; Unfortunately the Writers Didn’t Consider That Implication.
Yeah... That’s pretty much what Andrew has done here. He’s groomed this desperate and lonely teen to become a child soldier for him. And one only can only pray that’s all he tried to groom him to do since they were trapped inside a confined and enclosed space together for several months.
Listen, I don’t mind children’s shows touching upon darker subjects. Often fantasy is a good way for people to process complex themes and uncomfortable real world situations through the safety of fiction. It can even be helpful for those who have had the misfortune to experience certain traumas.
I’m not complaining that TTS is too dark.
I’m complaining about it being shit.
All of the crap Varian goes through is just thrown in there for shock value. It’s not here to commentate on the real world nor provide a complex story. The situations are brought only to then be outright ignored. This isn’t thoughtful nor deep. It’s not meaningful nor heartfelt. It’s just hollow drama done in bad taste.
You’re Not In a Position to Judge Rapunzel
You got captured first because you decided to throw yourself a pity party.
Would He Though?
I’m pretty sure Quirin is very well aware of how shitty Frederic is. If anything I would think he’d be pissed that his son, that he tried so hard to protect, was mistreated in such a hordenous way.
This isn’t some satisfying ending to Varian’s arc. It’s a heartbreaking revelation that he’s been beaten down by his abusers.
Varian’s Arc Isn’t Actually About Validation, and Rapunzel Giving It Here Doesn’t Really Change Anything
I spoke about this before on its own, but Tangled the Series places far too much stock in validation. Yes, it’s an aspect of his character arc, but it’s not the end all and be all of his motivation. It’s not the force that drives him to do what he does.
His primary goal is survival, both for himself and for his father. His secondary goal is gaining his father’s approval, but that’s not because he’s seeking generic praise, it’s because his father is emotionally distant. The “validation” is a mask for the real issues which are to fix his relationship with his dad and avoid the guilt of having possibly killed him in an accident.
Rapunzel has fuck all to do with that.
He doesn’t need to hear approval from her. He needs her to get her shit together and help him!
Rapunzel’s and Varian’s Situations Are Nothing Alike and Rapunzel Doesn’t Know Jackshit
Rapunzel you were dumped by your bestie because you’re a shitty friend.
Varian was neglected and abused by those who were supposed to take care of him.
Unless you’re drawing parallels to how Frederic and Gothel treated you, and even then neither of them denied you basic fucking needs!
This should be an “Oh Shit! I’ve become just like Mother Gothel” moment for Rapunzel, not an “Oh yay! Someone to share in my personal misery” moment.
Man, Rapunzel suuuuuucks!
Also This Still Isn’t An Actual Apology
Once again, Rapunzel is not admitting what she did wrong here. She’s not actually acknowledging Varian’s pain, nor what she needs to do to make admins with him.
What she’s doing is making things all about herself again. She’s talking about her feelings. About what she is facing. Rapunzel is an incredibly selfish and egotistical person and the show is trying to present this as a positive thing by rewarding her for such behavior.
Varian’s Redemption Should Have Nothing to Do with “Friendship”
Varian has no reason to want to become friends again with the woman who ruined his life and abused him.
But more than that, redemption shouldn’t be dependent upon Rapunzel’s friendship, nor even her ‘forgiveness”. Varian should be able to do the right thing just because it’s the right thing, Rapunzel be damned.
This cheepens not only his character development but also Rapunzel’s development as well. Rapunzel is not allowed to grow as a person and accept that not everyone wants to be her friend, and that people may have valid reasons to hate her even, and that doesn’t make them evil.
It also rushes through Varian’s arc undermining what the audience had to get through to get to this point.
OK, Let’s Talk About The Goatee
I wouldn’t have minded the beard had it just not looked like a fucking barcode. There’s production art where it looks fine. But just wiping it away ties back to what I was talking about in part one. It’s denying Varian the chance to grow up. This is supposed to be his coming of age story as well but the crew won't let him do that because “rule of funny” apparently overrides what the characters actually need in order to develop.
Once again, the show isn’t a sitcom. You can have comedic moments but the comedy doesn’t need to outright undermine the drama.
Once Again, Shouldn’t Eugene Be the First Person to Jump to Varian’s Defence?
You mean the orphan on the streets who stole stuff and fought to survive when the adults failed to take care of him? Is that what you’re talking about Eugene? Cause if I remember correctly that was you not just three years ago.
You Mean Rapunzel Needs Him To Make Her Feel Better About Herself
Spoiler alert, but Varian doesn’t actually do anything after this point in the episode. His entire “redemption” is just about making Rapunzel feel better about herself after Cass has rejected her. He’s literally become the rebound.
How Come Varian Suddenly Became Shorter Just for This Shot?
I know the meta reason is to reflect that scene back in Queen for a Day when Rapunzel promised him that she'd help him before everything went tits up. Where he was also drawn shorter in that episode to make him seem more verunable, but here he’s just suddenly shorter for only two shots and then suddenly back to his usual height.
Crap like this is why I insist that Varian didn’t actually get any taller in season three. The show just has always been inconsistent with his height and most of the “evidence” for his growth are cherry picked instances where the show drew him smaller than usual for reasons, like here.
So Where Did They Get That Much of the Explosives and How Did They Get Them So Fast?
Only Varian knows how to manufacture that stuff. Why would he make that much of it if he was still in the experimental phase with it? He’s even surprised that they have so much, so where did they get it? If they made it then, how did they make it so fast?
So This Plan Goes Nowhere
Spoiler alert: Varian doesn’t actually get to do any of that. In fact he’s kind of pointless for the rest of the episode.
Why Would the King and Queen Care About a City That They Can’t Remember?
Like this revenge doesn’t make sense. It’s just a contrived way to get Eugene and Lance out of the way.
If the Quirineon Explodes From Being Exposed to Heat Then What Good Does Just Dropping It Do?
Yeah, remember? The stuff explodes when heated. Simply dropping it shouldn’t do anything other than make a mess on the ground maybe.
All That Build Up and Varian Still Doesn’t Get to Do Anything Useful
Up till this point, Varian was shown to be the most competent threat in the show. Yet here they have him be a screw up twice in a row just for comedy antics and to glorify Rapunzel again.
If you got to nerf other characters just to make your main look good then you’ve failed to establish your main character as being capable in their own right.
Remember That This Boy Was Trapped in a Jail Cell With This Guy for a Year!
No, I’ll never be over this.
Andrew is the most directly violent and scummy out of all of the villians in the show.
If he’s willing to do this now, if he was willing to do this to his ex-girlfriend, then what the heck was he willing to do when he and Varian were trapped alone together?
So Andrew Just Willingly Sacrifices His Own People Here....Even Though His Goal Was to Give His People a New Home....
People need to use this gif more often when concerning this show and the villains’ ass-backwards plans.
And yes they survive because of Varian alchemy. But that was on accident. Andrew had no way of knowing that would happen. He’s willing to destroy his own people just to blow up his ancestral homeland and for what!? What does he gain from this action?
The Mind Wipe Kills Frederic’s and Arianna’s Characters; Littraly
Frederic and Arianna are effectively dead at this point. Anything that made them, well them, has been wiped away. Their personalities, hopes, dreams, their on going stories and development, just gone. And we never get them back, even when their memories supposedly return.
Varian’s Not Even Allowed to Get the Idea On How to Save Corona...In His Own Redemption Episode No Less
This is his episode! We’ve spent two years building up to this point and you can’t even let him help? He’s denied the chance to make up for his own mistakes! Just so Rapunzel can play hero and be a very shallow representation of what a bunch of men think a “strong” woman should be!
It’s fucking insulting. That’s what it is.
Making a female character the center of the universe to the point where other people are just props for her is not empowering!
No It’s Not!!
Uh you wouldn’t even be here had you just fucking helped Varian to being with you dumb bitch! This is very much you and your father’s mess!
Even now, while pretending to be responsible, Rapunzel can’t actually be responsible and own up to what she did!
She’s fucking 20 and the 16 year old shows more maturity than her!
Also Your Hair Can Protect Two People at Once Rapunzel; Remember?
There’s no excuse for leaving Varian out of the action. We’ve been shown multiple times now that Rapunzel’s magic hair can protect her and other people at the same time.
Having Rapunzel Save the Day By Herself Undermines Everything the Episode Was Trying to Establish
What happened to needing to “trust again” and letting other people help you? Having Rapunzel save the day alone just tosses out the lesson that the show was trying to build up to.
The show tries to frame this as Rapunzel learning “responsibility” but that also does not work. For one it was never established that she needed to learn that within the episode itself and secondly, she doesn’t actually do anything different from what she usually does.
Being an action hero isn’t the same thing as being responsible. Being responsible is being considerate of others, doing the borning shit or mundane crap that you hate, and being mature enough to recognize your own failings and admitting when you were wrong.
So in the end Rapunzel is neither responsible nor more open to others.
And There’s the Death of Eugene’s Character
Lance, who has maybe exchanged all of three sentences with Raps, is more distrught than the guy that supposedly wants to marry her. This isn’t heartwarming, nor it is growth. It’s just lobotomizing a character right in front of our eyes.
In this very episode he was worried about Raps going to face the Saporians by herself and was, guess what, fucking right to do so. But he doesn’t give two shits if she gets blown up!?
Ooookaaaay.....
This is the completion of turning Eugene into a doormat. From now own he shan’t be allowed to have any thoughts or feelings of his own that disagrees with Rapunzel.
The Eugene we knew is now dead.
But Of Course the Show Rewards Everyone for Behaving In the Dumbest Way Possible Anyways
Don’t expect any of these grossly out of character moments and oxygen deprived logic to be addressed nor fixed within the show. The series will keep on shoving unearned endings into our facing while insisting that this is positive development.
How Did Y’all Get Here Before Varian?
Yes, he was left on a roof, but he can climb and y’all were outside of the city.
Yeah... A Year and Half Fucking Later!
Ok, a year and three months, but that’s still not any better. Worse, all this implies is that Rapunzel would not have ever concerned herself with trying to free Quirin had Varian not broken out of prison. She would have literally left them both for dead and we’re supposed to find her suddenly doing the bare fucking minimum heartwarming and inspiring?
Where Was the Inciting Incident to Use the Decay Incantation for This?
How did Rapunzel come up with this plan? When did she come up with it?
When the hurt incantation was first found no one mentioned how it could be used to save Quirin. No one even gave Quirin a thought. Since then the incarnation hasn’t been brought back up, ever. This is a pretty big leap in logic for Rapunzel to suddenly think of this.
All it highlights how Varian was originally meant to be there to translate the scrolls and incantations in order to establish all this but of course it got cut so now it just comes the fuck out of nowhere.
Not Letting Varian Have Anything to Do With Saving His Father Is Even Worse Than Not Letting Him Save the Day
This has been his motivation since the beginning. It’s been the driving plot for a season, and now that the time has finally come what does get to do?
Hold a dang bucket.
Part of coming up with satisfying endings is following through on what you’ve established. The audience needs closure. Simply freeing Quirin isn’t enough, we need the carthartis of Varian specifically fulfilling his goal.
I don’t know how to break this to you Chris, but this isn’t Rapunzel’s story. Not this segment of it anyways. It’s Varian’s and it just so happens to connect to Rapunzel’s. She shouldn’t have been center stage for this.
The Series Blows It’s Load Too Early with the Incantations
This is the last time we’ll hear any of the incantations sung on screen, cause someone in budgeting didn’t know what was important to throw the money at and what was not.
It’s not bad here, but if we could only hear one incantation only once this season it needed to be in the finale with the final heal incantation.
Varian Was Right All Along
Also, all this does is justify Varian’s actions in season one. Rapunzel was indeed the only one who could free his dad according to this. For a series that desperately wants to shove all of the blame onto an abused child’s shoulders they sure go out their way to prove him right.
So How Is the Hurt Incantation Suppose to Work?
There were so many fan theories after this scene because Varian and Quirin don’t respond to the hurt incantation the same way previous characters had.
No one is gasping for breath, Varian can touch Raps without burning his hands, and Rapunzel can control the direction of her power. ect.
Turns out there was nothing there, the writers just didn’t know what the fuck they were doing and made the hurt incantation very inconsistent just like all of the magic in this show.
BULLSHIT!!!
You literally turn into a villain because she gave up on you!!!!
She also didn’t give two shits about you throughout the entirety of season two.
Why are we just pretending like season one didn’t exist!?
Why!?
The Note!!!
No It Fucking Didn’t!
Does That Look Like “I’m Proud of You Son” To You?
Chris went on to confirm that, yes, the note did hold more information that then got cut. Pretty much confirming all that we suspected. That Varian was cut from season two and his story hastily shoved back into season three at the last minute.
Below is the link to the tumblr post he made.
https://cnotes.tumblr.com/post/190534585146/apparently-one-of-the-writers-said-a-while-back
What’s worse is that his defense is such bullshit. The below exchange pretty much sums it all up.
This Doesn’t Actually Resolve Anything and Is Therefore Unsatisfying to Watch
Part of the reason why this conclusion doesn’t work is because it doesn’t actually address any of the problems that they have in their relationship. Quirin never owns up to what he did wrong. There’s no discussion of what Varian was up to while he was entrapped, no conversation about what secrets Quirin hid from his son, and zero admission of wrongdoing on either side.
Also Varian has done nothing significant to earn those particular words. Saying I love makes sense, but in context saying “I’m proud of you” does not. It doesn’t even work on a meta level cause the episode prevented Varioan from accomplishing anything.
It’s empty.
There Could Have Been More Screen Time to Fix This If Not for Season Two Mucking About
Above is the link to the original storyboards. It doesn’t fix everything but there’s a lot more satisfying emotional beats including adding Ruddiger back in who is suspiciously absent for the entire episode for no stated reason.
This version was cut due to time. Which, like with the Crossing the Line song, didn’t need to be had they been more effective with their usage of time in season two.
They also could have had a better conclusion to Varian’s arc in general had he not been cut from season two altogether.
So What Does Freeing Quirin Add to the Series?
I’m serious. What does freeing Quirin at this point and time do for the story?
It doesn’t add any character development, Quirin just wanders around aimlessly in the background until the finale and even then his part in that is a pointless dead end. Varian doesn’t gain his emotional closure, just empty, hollow “praise”. Nor is he allowed to accomplish any of his established goals. No new lore or history is exposed. No mystery uncovered.
There’s no reason why this couldn’t have been done later in the season. Provide more tension and keep up the consequences of the characters actions. Give the mains something to do and work on until Cass and Zhan Tiri show up again.
The only reason why this is here is to wrap Varian’s story up as soon as possible so he won’t “steal Cassandra’s spotlight”. That’s it. He’s rewarded for conforming to Rapunzel’s will and all the fans should shut up and be grateful, at least according to Chris.
I Like This Song But It Wasn’t Needed
It doesn’t add anything to the story. It’s just a generic celebration song. Which would be fine if it wasn’t for the fact that we have a limited number of songs, even less than in previous seasons, and the story isn’t over yet. This is the wrong place to put a victory song at.
Especially when we could have had a song that furthered Varian’s redemption instead. Yeah, that was cut too.
So Is Varian the New “Lance” This Season?
He’s right there! This is his dang focus episode!
Why hire Broadway singers and not let them sing!? Why waste talent and money like that?
Also These Lyrics!
Did Glenn Slater just not read the scripts before writing the songs? That’s all season three ever does! Give the mains what they want without earning it. Even in this very episode!
So Is This Rapunzel’s 20th Birthday or Not?
Ok I have gotten into many a heated debate about how long season three is supposed to be. And that’s because what the crew says doesn’t match what the series shows us.
By all accounts this should be Rapunzel’s birthday. According to season two she’s been gone for one year, and there’s the lanterns that they fly specifically on her birthday.
But no one verbally says it’s her birthday and I’ve heard conflicting accounts from different members of the crew. Some stating that it is her 20th birthday and some disagreeing that it is.
Well I’ll take what evidence that the show actually presents to its audience on screen over what the cast and crew says after the fact any day of the week, so I’ll be gathering up this evidence and proving by the end that season three is two years not one.
But the fact that I must comb through series to prove this, the fact that we can even have this debate, and the fact that the crew have to state basic info after the series is over is just proof of the bad writing.
Fun Fact: Cupcakes Weren’t Invented Until the 20th Century
Yeah, that’s the fault of the OG film, and yeah it doesn’t really mean much, but still it’s one more thing to add to the pile of stuff that doesn’t fit.
Plus I’m just a hardcore nerd for historical cooking and I like to share my knowledge.
Yeah But How Can He Trust All of You Again?
You’re the ones who let him down first; repeatedly. And you only started to make things up to him once he became useful to you. What assurance does he have that you won’t mistreat him again next time he’s in trouble or is no longer of any use to y’all?
Yes, Let NOT Show What the Main Character Is Actually Going Through
Yup, this is “Rapunzel’s show” but we’re not going to let Rapunzel have any focus on her feelings or give any insight into her thought process about what is the main conflict of the series now.
Conclusion
Ducktales was robbed!
I can’t believe this shit won an Emmy for “best writing.” It utterly fails on every possible level. It fails to be a continuation of the ongoing story and it fails to be a stand alone episode. Even the very structure of the story is fundamentally flawed. The only reason why it’s not the worst episode of the entire series is because the finale and the penultimate episodes exist.
Anyways...I finally made it through. It literally took my entire weekend but I’m finally caught up. Next week I’ll be going back to the usual one episode a week schedule.
